- “Calm down.” (Are you dumb? That’s going to make her more mad.)
- “You look tired”
- “You look sick” (2 and 3 are quite the confidence boosters🙄)
- “Are you wearing that?” (Are you actually asking that??)
- “What’s up with your hair?”
- “I liked your hair longer.”/”Don’t cut your hair.” (It’s my hair your opinion is irrelevant.)
- “Are you sure you should be eating that?” (If I want to eat an entire pizza and a tub of icecream I’m going to. Don’t question me)
- “Have you gained weight?” ( that question will get you hit)
- “How much do you weigh?” (I assure you this question isn’t worth it. 😂)
- “Put some meat on your bones.” (Are you kidding? Leave her alone)
- “You are lazy.” (You have a lot of guts, don’t you?)
- “You wear too much makeup.” (I will stab you in the eye with my mascara wand)
- “What’s up with your makeup?” (Makeup is an art. Let her express herself)
- “I think you’d look better if you wore___.” (Just compliment us. Don’t try and give fashion advice)
- “You’d be prettier if you ____” (So are you saying we’re ugly??🤷🏼♀️)
- “You are so pale.” (Gee thanks.)
- “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” (Well I’m about to look gorgeous🙄)
- “I don’t want to talk about it.” (I actually say this all the time so.. oops)
- “Just do what I tell you to do.” (I’m sorry are you my parent or..?)
- “I’ll just tell you later.” (Alright then I’ll just look dumb now because you won’t tell me what you are talking about 🙂)
- “Shhhh” (Don’t say that ever.)
- “Chill out” (She is probably going to explode. Don’t tell a woman to chill.)
- “It’s really great how you (insert anything) but what if you did it this way?” (Or how bout I not do it at all and you do it instead?)
- “Get over it.” (How bout no🤷🏼♀️)
- “You never told me that.” (Actually you just never listen)
- “Whatever.” (I actually find this so incredibly disrespectful 😂)
- “Let me know when you’re done with your attitude” (I’m never going to speak to you again)
- “I have a mother I don’t need another one.” (Then stop acting like a child…🤷🏼♀️)
- “You never listen.” (HA)
- “You are so needy.” (I needy you to stop talking.)
- “You’ll get over it” (I probably would’ve but then you said that. So now I refuse to get over it☺️)
- “It’s up to you.” (Be a man. Help make decisions.)
- “You knew I was like this.” (Don’t make your issues my fault.)
- “You are overreacting.” (YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.)
- “You’re wrong” (start over. A woman is never wrong.)
- “Hurry up.” (I don’t even need to explain why you should never rush a woman.)
- “Did you do my laundry?” (Refer to #28.)
- “Maybe you should go to the gym.” (Maybe you should go buy me a cake🤷🏼♀️.)
- “It was a joke.” (Must not of been very funny if you had to tell me it was a joke.)
- “My ex never did that.” (Um cool?”)
- “You should ask my mother for her recipe.” (You should probably start going back to your moms house to eat then)
- “When is your baby due?” (This could honestly get you into so much trouble. Just don’t ask.)
- “How old are you?” (No. No. No.)
- “Is it that time of the month?” (Nope you are just really annoying today.)
- “Where’s dinner?” (You got me. Where?)
- Do not compare your tiredness to her tiredness.
- “You sound just like my mother.” (🙄)
- “My ex…” (Just stop while you are ahead)
- “Can I just say something.” (No you cannot)
- “You are just like every other girl.”
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