the game of comparison

For the past few weeks, I’ve struggled with trying to come up with what to blog about.  If I’m being real with you guys, a few days ago I found myself back at my high school surrounded by the same people I used to compare myself to. I was back in the same mindset that was slowly destroying me.

In high school, I strived to be like the girl that all the faculty loved, the girl that every parent hoped their child would grow up to be like. I wanted to be “that girl,” but I knew I would never live up to her. No matter what I did I was always going to be stuck with the same reputation, “the girl that was always looking for trouble,” and “the girl that lived in the principles office from ages 8 to 18.”

I know that I’m not that person anymore. Those labels did not line up with who I am as a person, but yet I found myself comparing who I am to the girl I wished I couldve been.

In high school, I dedicated SO much time and energy into trying to plan events for the school, prayer groups, Bible studies, anything you could imagine just to try to get the approval from the people that made me feel so inadequate.

This started to become a silent theme of subconsciousness that I dragged around with me everywhere unknowingly. I thought to myself, I will never be good enough because I am not her. I went from being proud of the person I have become and my accomplishments to feeling like an utter failure in a matter of just a few minutes.

I am not her. I will never be her. I will never live up to the expectations others set for me. I will never be the perfect girl I want to be.

What we have to remember is that we have control over what we decide to compare ourselves too. We do not need to perfect or curate ourselves in order to prove to the world that we have our lives together.

So therefore, love the crap out of your dog, wear the clothes that make you feel good and comfortable in, be around the people that make you happy and savor the few moments we actually get in this life. 

Do not try to be someone else in order to get approval from others.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

That’s it for today.  Hope this helped lighten up the pressure for some of you out there as it did for me.
Take care of yourselves! ♡
H

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