the game of comparison

For the past few weeks, I’ve struggled with trying to come up with what to blog about.  If I’m being real with you guys, a few days ago I found myself back at my high school surrounded by the same people I used to compare myself to. I was back in the same mindset that was slowly destroying me.

In high school, I strived to be like the girl that all the faculty loved, the girl that every parent hoped their child would grow up to be like. I wanted to be “that girl,” but I knew I would never live up to her. No matter what I did I was always going to be stuck with the same reputation, “the girl that was always looking for trouble,” and “the girl that lived in the principles office from ages 8 to 18.”

I know that I’m not that person anymore. Those labels did not line up with who I am as a person, but yet I found myself comparing who I am to the girl I wished I couldve been.

In high school, I dedicated SO much time and energy into trying to plan events for the school, prayer groups, Bible studies, anything you could imagine just to try to get the approval from the people that made me feel so inadequate.

This started to become a silent theme of subconsciousness that I dragged around with me everywhere unknowingly. I thought to myself, I will never be good enough because I am not her. I went from being proud of the person I have become and my accomplishments to feeling like an utter failure in a matter of just a few minutes.

I am not her. I will never be her. I will never live up to the expectations others set for me. I will never be the perfect girl I want to be.

What we have to remember is that we have control over what we decide to compare ourselves too. We do not need to perfect or curate ourselves in order to prove to the world that we have our lives together.

So therefore, love the crap out of your dog, wear the clothes that make you feel good and comfortable in, be around the people that make you happy and savor the few moments we actually get in this life. 

Do not try to be someone else in order to get approval from others.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

That’s it for today.  Hope this helped lighten up the pressure for some of you out there as it did for me.
Take care of yourselves! ♡
H

Jealousy

I wish I looked like her, I wish I wrote like her, I wish I (fill in the blank). I feel this way about my friends! Not some pretty strangers I see on Instagram. Friends I see every day, friends that encourage me and love me. I find myself resenting them the second I find something that they have that I don’t.

But luckily I have surrounded myself with people that are constantly reminding me of my inner beauty. Find friends that remind you to care more about your soul than your outer appearance. The friends that encourage you and help you grow. The friends that help you find your confidence in the Lord.

If today you were given the choice to either envy someone or encourage them. What would you choose? Seems like an obvious choice but we unknowingly seem to choose envy over encouragement. Make yourself more aware that this is an option, you can choose encouragement.

Be the person whose beauty rests in encouraging one another.

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖, ℍ𝕒𝕪

Don’t Miss the Blessing


This morning I decided to wake up a little early so I had some extra time to relax and spend time in my devotions. I opened to 1 Samuel. Honestly, I had no idea what 1 Samuel was about. Just assumed it was about a guy named Samuel. (creative guess right??)

As I read through chapter 1, I really had to dig deep into it.

It tells about the story of Hannah, she couldn’t have kids. She often felt jealous of her husbands other wife, Peninnah, because she was able to have many children. This feeling of jealousy caused Hannah to feel less than, it caused her anxiety and to feel bitter as a result.

Then, it says, that while at the temple of the Lord, Hannah wept and wouldn’t eat. She sat in pleading with Him. While her pain is understandable. Hannah is in the house of the Lord, she is married to a man that loves her enough to bless her with double portions. But she can’t enjoy this because she is too focused on her bitterness.

Honestly, this convicted me How often do we do that? I often focus more on what I don’t have rather than what I have been blessed with. I forget that God is going to bless me with what I need at that moment but yet I focus on what He hasn’t given me even though I don’t need it.

So I challenge each of you to focus on the blessing. Stop focusing on the negatives. Broaden your spectrum look for the blessing. Bring your burdens to the Lord and leave them there.

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖, ℍ𝕒𝕪

Trusting Yourself

After high school, we are expected to figure out what we are meant to do and go after it. We have unintentionally conditioned ourselves to do what is expected of us instead of trusting our gut and what God is calling you to do. It is as if others accepting us is the only way we can accept yourselves. This even has an impact on the smaller things in life such as an Instagram caption. How many times have you caught yourself trying to come up with a good caption and then realizing the only thing you’ve thought about is how others will read it and what they will think about it. We are so afraid of making mistakes and looking stupid that we refuse to step out of the norm and do the things that are desperately calling us. I can think of so many situations where I chose to do what everyone expected of me so I can feel validated instead of doing what I feel God is calling me to do.

This year I am trying to teach myself to trust God, trust myself, and trust His timing. How many times have you been put into a difficult situation and you ended up surprising yourself with how you handled that situation? Give yourself that credit! In that situation, you trusted yourself and you succeeded. It can be so easy to become hyperaware of what we are doing and saying and become out of trust with yourself because we are so worried about what others will say.

We have to learn to have confidence in our choices. You aren’t living life if you continue to overanalyze every situation we are given. Trust is like a muscle and the more you work on it the stronger it becomes. You have to learn to catch yourself when you start to lose your trust in God and in yourself. You also have to remind yourself that at the end of the day life is way too short. Odds are that the people I’m worried about looking dumb in front of are also worried that they make look dumb themselves. We have to learn to trust the direction God is pulling us.

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖, ℍ𝕒𝕪

Praying for your Relationship

I generally find myself praying only when there’s an issue in my life that needs to be resolved or when I’m thanking the Lord for something wonderful that he’s just done for me. Far too often I forget to pray for the man that’s choosing to share his life with me and decisions and battles that he will face throughout his lifetime. I feel selfish to have only prayed for my own future, forgetting that {Lord Willing} this man is my future.

I encourage each and every one of you, to start praying for the men in your life. Whether you’re married, engaged, dating, or still waiting on the perfect guy. It’s never too late or too early to begin praying for these areas of life that will affect the love of your life and your life as well.

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Pray for your boyfriend’s relationship with the Lord.

Above all else, pray that the Lord will guide, lead, bless and protect your boyfriend each and every day. His strength in the Lord will affect your life more than you know. Having a Man that is walking with God and trusting in Him will make both your relationship and yourself so much stronger than you could ever imagine.

Pray your boyfriend is slow to anger.

Pray he is slow to speak and slow to anger. Give him the strength to choose love over wrath. Clothe him in the fruits of the spirits: patience, forgiveness, humility, and kindness.

Pray for your boyfriend’s education and career.

Pray that he will succeed in all that he sets out to study or any career that he chooses to pursue. This is a great way to cheer him on silently from the sidelines. Encouraging him to do his very best and strive for greatness can only do so much without fervent prayer and the Lord’s help.

Pray for your boyfriend’s future opportunities and decisions.

Pray that your boyfriend will be blessed with wonderful opportunities in the future that makes his life and your life everything that God has planned for it. Pray that he will make wise decisions based on his love for the Father, his love for himself, and his love for you and your future together. This is so very important to remember when you could potentially be having a family together one day.

Pray for your boyfriend’s goals and dreams.

If I’m so passionate about my dreams, I should be just as passionate in prayer for my boyfriends dreams as well. I love seeing how happy he is whenever he reaches a goal or gets one step closer to his dreams and desires. I pray that the Lord will help him achieve everything he’s able to dream up and set goals to obtain.

Pray for your future together.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Pray to trust in the Lords timing. Pray God will bless your relationship together and that you will live together in happiness. Pray that you will forever keep Christ at the center of your relationship.

I realize that not only do I need to focus on things I want, but things I should be thankful for.  And although it may be difficult I surely am thankful to have such a sweet, loving man to love even if that means there is a little bit of distance between us in the future.  And while we are separated these are just some of the few prayers I will be praying over him.